16 Jun PRAIA DO SARGI – 15 JUNE 2020 – MOODY

Today has been changing weather. 

It was raining, it was cloudy, it was sunny. 

So was I, moody. 

When I wake up with my face in the sheets, I don’t do anything all day. 

I am in a state of physical and mental weightlessness. 

Yes, nothing comes to my mind as if the thoughts have crept into a corner of my mind and are hidden like refugees in a container.

It’s not a bad state, because I’m not sad, I’m not nervous, I’m not bored, it’s a state of emptiness, of nothing. 

It’s as if the mind doesn’t process anything and I’m just an observer, a camera that records everything without intention and purpose.

Lavinia felt me ​​and started to press the children, to help us more, to give a broom, to wash or tidy the table. 

She gets stressed and starts working harder to balance my inactivity.

Lavinia is a wonderful woman, she could not give a shit.

That’s about it for today.

Other than that, nothing, all’s good…

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TOANE

Astazi a fost o vreme schimbatoare. 

Ba a plouat, ba a fost innorat, ba a dat cu soare. 

Asa am fost si eu, cu toane. 

Cand ma trezesc cu fata la cearceaf, nu fac nimic toata ziua. 

Stau intr-o stare de imponderabilitate fizica si mentala. 

Da, nu-mi trece nimic prin cap de parca gandurile s-au pitit intr-un colt al mintii si stau ascunse precum niste refugiati intr-un container. 

Nu e o stare naspa, pentru ca nu sunt trist, nu sunt nervos, nu sunt plictisit, e o stare de gol, de nimic. 

E ca si cum mintea nu proceseaza nimic iar eu sunt doar un observator, o camera de luat vederi ce inregistreaza tot fara intentie si fara scop. 

Lavinia m-a simtit si a inceput sa-i apese pe copii, sa ne ajute mai mult, sa dea si ei cu o matura, sa puna la spalat sau sa faca ordine pe masa. 

Se streseaza si incepe sa munceasca mai mult sa-mi suplineasca inactivitatea. 

Lavinia e o fata misto, putea sa o doara in brisca. 

Cam atat pentru azi.

In rest, nimic, toate bune…